Month: September 2012

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Trying To Understand Swimming

You just stroke, then breathe and it never leaves a bad taste like masturbation.

Swimming is the perfect escape and reconnection.  A body made of water flowing through itself.  I have yet to find an exercise more invigorating.

Tonight I knocked out a mile in 35 minutes or so and that is not gonna cut it.  I suppose it would help if I actually knew how to swim, but I can’t seem to figure it out on my own.

Making matters worse was the woman in the next lane teaching her little girl how to swim. The woman didn’t really look like a swimmer, but she was throwing around a lot of “thumbs first” and “keep hands away from face” kinda stuff, and my end-of-lane-breaks were couched with that “acting like I wasn’t listening look” but I was definitely listening.

I’ve watched a bunch of videos and read books, newsletters, encyclopedias, Twitter posts, and DVR’d the Olympics, but I can’t quite tell which of my growing array of styles is faster.  It doesn’t help that I can’t see the second hand on the clock because I’m getting old and blind (maybe I need to cut back on the masturbation).

Anyway, if anyone has swimming advice, I’m all ears.

Today’s Diet
Breakfast:  Protein Shake, Two cups of coffee
Snack: Fiber bar
Lunch: Two pieces of fried cod, french fries, unsweet tea
Snack: Chips, green tea
Pre-swim: Orange juice, blueberry, strawberry, banana smoothie (blender)
Dinner: Kale, broccoli, carrot, apple, ginger (in juicer)
* I’m sure I’ll ad something else solid to this day.  Likely a can of tuna and a few pickles.

Summary:  This is not the most impressive diet-day, but I’m not avoiding my cravings and they are naturally fading away.  It’s pretty sweet to see the change and not have to depend on willpower.

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NFL Replacement Refs

I know this isn’t directly related to Ironman, but bear with me.  Last night I watched the end of the Packers/Seahawks game and all of the outrage that followed.  I was literally taken back by the level of hostility and it occurred to me that my training has given me a different outlook on competition.

For years I have ranted and raved about football or any other sport if my team got the shaft.  I was either furious or bummed or ridiculously elated.  I can feel all of those emotions sort of drifting away.

Running, biking, and swimming are all very competitive without the rage.  I have especially noticed how runners support each other, and while I’m sure there is always some envy, there is always underlying tone of encouragement.  Even I was joining in and it was all very natural.

I was oddly inspired when friends beat me en route to their personal bests. It’s kind of like going to see a band if you’re a musician.  If they suck you are inspired because you know you can do better.  If they are great, they bring up your game and push you to work harder.  Either way you respect what just happened and the band’s efforts.  Their drive to “do something” . . . explore life.

Last night after the obvious blown call in the Packers’ game, I read post after post calling for the NFL commissioners head.  It was literally like these replacement referees had ruined their lives.  It was sad and made me reflect on the concept of controlling your own life and circumstances without regard to what others are doing.

I couldn’t help but think that the Packers (and their MVP quarterback) had a chance to change the outcome and keep the referees out of their destiny.  They had the ball with 2:00 left and all they had to do was get a first down and run out the clock.  Instead, their running back fumbled the hand off and they lost 4 yards on the first play.  Then ran two giveaways up the middle before punting with a minute left.  The Seahawks got the ball back at the 50 yard line.  I’m pretty sure the MVP quarterback would have relished that situation.

Sure there are bad breaks in games.  Blown calls, distractions, brain farts.  But the beauty of competing against yourself in swimming, biking, or running is, you can only blame yourself . . . and there is a lot of power there.  You are on a quest to be better, excel, and reach something deeper inside, which can be endless fuel if you embrace it.

I played team sports for years and one of the first things I was taught in baseball was, “Never blame the game on an umpire.” This is a hard pill to swallow when a key call is blown late in the game, but life is fluid.  You can’t worry or complain about stuff you can’t control.  You prepare the best you can and accept the results.  There is no reason not to.  It’s bad for your soul.

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My Couch To Ironman History

I just recorded my first video blog for this site and will put it up as soon as I make a cool open and close that energizes, inspires, and/or makes me look like a total egomaniac.  In the meantime, here’s a little history on my couch to Ironman journey.

So, what’s my story?  I am a forty something young gentleman who, with the help of a certified Ironman, started running on January 23, 2012.  I’m sure we made some kind of bet, but the true reason was how I looked in a video last November (which I hope to find and post).  I looked like a fucking whale as I sat next to my buddy Roger and sang the University of Wisconsin anthem, “Varsity.”  We were absolutely rocked off our ass and waving our arms back and forth (feeling pretty cool I might add) acting like we were in college celebrating another Badger victory.  But when I saw the iPhone video I could not get over the fact that I had a beer gut and my face was swollen like I’d been sitting in a bar for the last 5 years, which I was.  I tried to downplay it, like it was the angle of the shot, but I made a serious mental note that day that I would not take my slobby ass lightly.

The start of my running was a “Couch to 5K” program that started with 60 second runs surrounded by 90 second walks.  I shit you not, those 60 seconds were like climbing Mount Helena to me.  I was winded like a bitch, but tried to play it cool because there were a bunch of women around me and, I’m not going to lie, that is motivation.

This went on and on and we slowly built to a 5K on St. Patrick’s Day which I ran in just under my goal of 28 minutes because my Ironman coach who ran with me lied the whole way.  “We’re way behind, gotta pick it up.”

This was me and the coach

So, I lumbered onward completing a 5 mile, 10k, 1/2 Marathon, a Sprint triathlon, numerous other 5ks, then an Olympic triathlon, which was nearly the end of my quest for iron.

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Ironman Wisconsin: Registration Day

Let me tell you, if Ironman Wisconsin is anything as stressful as “registration” for Ironman Wisconsin, I am in deep shit.

Registration opened the day after the race at noon and I was reading stories around the web that said it could sell out in as fast as 15 minutes.  There were five of us signing up and I was a wreck thinking that I might be the only one to not get in.  It didn’t help that my boss called an 11:00 am meeting out of the blue.

Like most bosses, he is a big fan of hearing himself talk and this strategy session had me glued on the clock.  I thought I was good, but he opened a can of worms at 11:47.  It wasn’t much of a stretch to act like I was sick and run out of that office at noon, because I was getting queasy.

His can of worms was flying right over my head, and at 11:59 I stood up and declared the meeting over.  He looked at me like I was crazy (and I probably was) and asked where I was going.  I said I had something to do and that the rest of them were more than qualified to finish the meeting.

It was a bold move and I’m sure there was probably enough subordination to get fired, or at least a red flag in my file, but I didn’t care.  I would have quit at that moment and, as it turns out, still might.

It’s not just the Ironman that has me thinking about walking from the corporate world, it’s what the quest stands for.  Getting to the point where I actually believe I can do a full Ironman is a major change in my thought patterns.  I am turning into a different person, and that person is me.