I realize it’s cliche’ to make a writing comeback on New Years Day, but this “resolution” has been building for a long time. It took two very long drives and a week of laying around getting fat to realize that I fallen prey to one of life’s most destructive forces: Negativity.
As a lot of us know, IRONMAN is a daunting task in its own right, but when you start seeing the negative side of daily life, you might as well hang up your lycra because racing is the least of your problems.
The worst part about negativity is that it just sort of starts and snowballs until it’s out of control and you’re left staring at the ceiling saying, “what the fuck just happened?” And I did that a lot.
You start asking the question, “What’s the point?” a lot, too. Why do I want to do this Ironman stuff? I’ve done it, it hurts, I get it.
So, I went home to Wisconsin for a week and the first night I ran into an old friend who told me point blank, “I think what you’re doing is kind of asinine to be honest.” He said it in such a way that I could tell he was “looking down” on me for doing it and something inside nearly exploded . . . in a good way.
I kind of laughed it off, but couldn’t ignore the look on his eyes. He seemed tired and I didn’t think he really meant it, but it felt a little personal.
The room itself was filled with guys I grew up sitting around playing cards like they often do. Sometimes it’s tough to get out of those situations, almost like kids from a ghetto.
I truly love these guys but similar moments replayed throughout my visit. Then I was at a physical rehab clinic shooting a video for a client and saw a kid who looked to be 15 or so come in on crutches without a left leg. That’s the kind of stuff that crushes me. Here I am, fully capable of swimming, biking, and running, but bitching about “what’s the point?”
So, on my long drive back, I “remembered” the point. The point is to quit complaining, be alive, and surround yourself with people who will remind you to do just that.