The Illusion of Happiness

Two life coaches (and life partners) with a radio show “designed to help foster and encourage your inner strengths,” and “put you confidently on the path to designing the life you’ve always wanted to live,” have committed suicide together.

Their landlord found a note from the man that said, “I can’t take it anymore, my wife is in too much pain.”

What kind of pain, I don’t know, but I truly feel for people who live with level of pain, whether it physical or emotional.

The name of their radio show was, “The Pursuit of Happiness.”

So many of us are searching for ways to be happy.  And the pursuit of that goal is often transformed into a passionate lifestyle.  That’s why I am always watching my behavior.

I think our society has is confused.  In general, most think happy should be the norm.  So, if you’re not happy, take this pill or do this and your problems will be solved.  But often those prescriptions make the problem worse.

What most people don’t understand is that it’s NORMAL to be sad or unhappy sometimes.  It’s NORMAL to be tired.  It’s NORMAL to be angry, unsure, or afraid.  If everyone was always happy, life would be ridiculously vanilla.

Anyone that really knows me, knows I can be very moody.  And when I’m moody I do a lot of my best thinking and creating.  I dig deeper and look for ways to “not” be moody.  This is where the real discoveries are made.  Diverse moods and mindsets are what make life interesting.

I am typically skeptical of people who are always happy.  Maybe it’s not fair, but I always feel like there is something fishy going on under the surface.  It’s one thing to be comfortable and content in your skin, but quite another to be overly excited about every little time your grocery store gets a new brand of pasta sauce.

So, as I continue to rebuild my body and mind through triathlon training, I keep a close eye on the state of my soul.  Am I really “super happy guy” or is it more like I am happy to be moving in the direction of growth through experience?  I’ll give you a hint . . . it’s typically the latter.

There were a couple times this morning at Open Water Swim that I was on the verge of being really pissed.  I didn’t feel great at the start, I lost my breath and confidence a few times, and I could think of a half dozen things I would have preferred to being up at 5 am to swim in a lake.

But, the result was positive.  I felt good about myself.  I worked hard and walked away in a energized, yet calm state of mind.  I didn’t win anything, I didn’t feel “cartwheel-happy,” I just felt grounded.

And isn’t that what we really want?  To feel grounded?  Being happy is part of the puzzle, not the ultimate prize.