An Outsider's Perspective On Ironman Training

I haven’t had a guest blog in a while, so I thought I’d give my neighbor, James, a chance to weigh in on what it’s like living next to a young man who is training for the Ironman.  Sort of an “outside the lines perspective” of the craziness.  I think James is a Bounty Hunter or something, so he always has an interesting perspective. 

Guest Blog – by James (Mike’s Neighbor)

What up?  First things first.  Mike is one crazy son of a bitch.  I see that boy runnin all hours of the night!  For real.  I be layin on the couch watchin my show at 9 o’clock and lil Jimmy start screamin, “There go Mike!” and I look out the window and sure as hell Mike be runnin’ … in the dark!  I’m like what the hell wrong with this boy?

But for real tho, Mike is cool.  He come home and let out that dog, Mattie, and throw the frisbie and whatnot and that dog jump like 5 feet in the air.  I ain’t playin.  Then Mike will get out the weed eater or some shit and work on that backyard.  He love that damn grass.  Sometimes he mow it twice in a row.  Like right ova the top a what he just mowed.  Some crazy ass shit, but that grass look good.  Sometimes it make me wanna clean up my backyard but I got that damn pontoon boat sittin out there with weeds and shit all over it.  I knew I shouldn’t let Harry put that rusty ass boat in my yard.

And Mike be bikin’ all the damn time.  He put on them white shoes and that tight ass suit and cruise up and down the boulevard like it ain’t shit.  Sometimes I think he went inside or somethin’ then he come ridin up from the otha way 3 damn hours later.  I be like “Hey Mike,” and he give me that quick wave and start runnin.  Shit don’t make no sense to me.

Then this mornin, I’m draggin my trash can out to the curb and he come walkin out the door at 5:30 in the damn mornin wearin a wet suit like he a damn Navy Seal or somethin.  And I mean I know he aint a Seal cuz I was in the service and he just don’t seem like he that tough or whatever, but he still cool.  He’s all like, “Hey James, I’m goin swimmin,” and I’m like, you a crazy motha f*cka to be goin swimmin when it 50 degrees.

I really think he know he crazy to be honest.  He be grillin out at midnight and shit.  Bringin ova like 20 friends and playin whiffle golf.  I mean whiffle golf . . . aint that some shit?  Knockin them lil balls around and drinkin beer while they listen to that crazy ass Lightning 100.  And don’t even get me started on above ground pool he think some shit outta Caesar’s Palace.

But for real, Mike is cool.  I told him I was gonna run with him sometime and got this treadmill set up so shit gettin real!