Mondays Can Kiss My . . .

For as long as I can remember, I have been trying to change my perception of Monday.  It never fails . . . Friday night relief, Saturday relax, Sunday peace . . . turned anxiety.  What is that?  It’s surely no way to live.  And then I see stuff like this posted and am reminded that so many of us live our lives that way. 5707_10151361887257981_1153560405_n

Somewhere along the lines we fell into this trap and believed that “doing the right thing” essentially meant doing “the wrong thing.”  We always hear that life’s not easy and it takes hard work and we have to suffer to enjoy the fruits of our labor.  Well, I’m here to tell myself I think that’s a load of BS.

When Loveboy first screamed “Everybody’s Working for the Weekend” I took a step back and said, “Damn, they are right!”  I didn’t understand it then, and I certainly don’t understand it now.  But we get trapped.  We confuse life with work.  We focus on getting more stuff so life will be easier, but that stuff often makes everything more complicated.

How will I buy this, or that, or buy my dream house?

In 2005 I bought a BMW and have more or less regretted it ever since.  I didn’t buy it for me, I bought it because I thought my dad would think I was a big shot.  We often talked about my future “success” and for some reason that car entered the conversation a lot.  I literally walked into the dealership one day and made impulse buy at BMW.

What did it do for me?

Well, it tied up my finances for the next 6 years.  I was constantly worried about scratches, dents and repairs.  And, a good portion of the time, it has made me feel like a prick.  But now I’m at a point where I have a dependable car and no payment.  For some reason I feel better about driving it now.

It has taken me many years, but I’m finally getting a grip on “living within my means.” For years I lived for the weekend and it did nothing but overrun my life with financial and emotional pressure.  Dying five days to live two makes no sense.

I am nowhere near cured of this generationally transmitted disease, but I am more aware.  More aware of what’s important, and certainly more aware of what doesn’t matter.  I have spent many years accumulating stuff I don’t need, pouring my energy into empty pursuits, and neglecting my true passions.  My perspective is changing and it starts with paying attention to what’s really important.

I have blindly raced after everything society threw in my face, and worse, instigated those desires in others by selling fear, success and self-confidence in a bottle.  It doesn’t happen that way.

There is nothing more potent than a gut feeling.  For years I have ignored mine, but it has never been wrong.  It steers me toward truth, and now, with the help of training and positive influence, I am trusting those instincts.  I am once again, believing that Monday should be just like Saturday.

Crushing Iron – A Documentary

As you may or may not know, we are shooting video of our training for Ironman Wisconsin and plan to release a documentary sometime after the race around November or December.  It’s five “average” guys and their quest for personal glory.  Tonight, we had another interview session, and I would like to offer a short glimpse into the riveting storyline that has developed.  Notice the pain, fear, and glory in this clip.

Natchez Trace on the Bike

Guide-Mississippis-Natchez-Trace-Parkway-E01PSVS9-x-largeNatchez Trace on a motorcycle is a beautiful ride, but today Jim, Racer K, and I got all “triathlon” with this mysterious road.  Beauty turns to pain when you clip your shoes and pedal into the wilderness of Natchez Trace, but I can’t think of a stronger way to start with outdoor training.

It’s usually pretty windy and crossing the bridge near Leiper’s Fork is a white knuckler.  The Parkway bridge is fifteen hundred feet long, 145 feet high and loaded with close calls.

We parked at the legendary Loveless Cafe and from there it was a straight climb for the first 3 miles or so.  Then, you descend over this damn bridge that scares the crap out of me on a normal day, not to mention when there are 30-40 m.p.h. winds and even your tough-guy-coach sends you a warning text about conditions.  LovelessCafe

The climbing on this section is relentless, and I’m not sure the map I just linked does it justice.  I found myself begging to be back on the trainer where I could imagine how tough these hills were rather than feeling my thighs burn and eyes water as we powered one ascent after another.  The plan was to ride for two hours, and about 15 miles in we hit a rest stop where I promptly fell on my hip because I forgot to unlock my shoes from the pedals.  I knew it was going to happen eventually, and now I’m hoping it’s out of the way.

The trip back was a little easier with the wind seemingly on our backs.  None-the-less, I was ready for this ride to be over.  Racer K tore off into the distance while Jim and I plowed ahead and watched our leader disappear into the horizon.  Two hours into the ride, we curled down the exit ramp and coasted through the Loveless parking lot.  Racer K was leaning suggestively against his car, already in jeans and sport coat.

It was a good ride and that gives me two 30-ish mile rides in two days.  I’m definitely feeling it in my hamstrings and think I am going to bag on today’s swim.  That is, unless this nap brings me back.

Tom King Half Marathon

Today, part of the Fab 5 +1 went out to help at the Nashville Running Company water stop for the Tom King 1/2 MarathonjimkevinJim, Kevin, and Alli alli 2rode their trainer bikes for inspiration, I handed out water, and Daniel decided he was gonna bust a groove on the course.  Mark was taking care of his daughter.

It was a beautiful morning for running, mid-50s, a little overcast, and it served Daniel well as he nailed down the fastest Fab 5 half marathon time of 1:33:30.  A great time that beat his best time by over 2 minutes.  We are all getting stronger and faster by the day and, as good as it is, I anticipate that number will be beat by someone in the group soon.  He’s set the new goal for a 1/2 and it’s 1:30.  Who’s gonna get it?

danielmikeJim, Kevin, and Alli put in two hours on the trainer then the guys rode the road for another hour.  I left, joined them for breakfast, then put in a couple hour ride on the Greenway.  It was a really nice day and the ride was great except for the throngs of people walking on the BIKE PATH!

Actually, I’m kidding.  They deserve to be out there and quite frankly I get a tad annoyed at bikers when I’m running, so, oh well.  Everyone, including me has to chill.

I have to say, the first outside ride kicked my ass a little.  Yesterday’s swim was lurking and I just haven’t been feeling it.  Tomorrow we’re going for a two hour jaunt on Natchez Trace and while my legs are saying no, I love that I’m able to get off the trainer.

Here are a few pics from the race today.  Hope you’re having a great weekend.

Ironman Louisville from the Sidelines – The Bike

The first thing Jim and I did when we rolled into Louisville was stop at Skyline Chili.  The result of hotdogs and chili on my stomach was not pretty and could have been foreshadowing or symbolic for what I was about to witness.

We were there to watch our buddy, Racer K, who is now a firmly entrenched in the “Fab 5” and training for Ironman Wisconsin.  I began this story here with a pre-race and swim analysis, now I continue with my interpretation of the spectator tension of watching good friend on the Ironman bike course.

Watching people run up the ramp after they’ve just swam 2.4 miles in a river is wild.  There is a hint of discombobulated mixed with intensity.  It’s no game when the next challenge you face is cycling 112 miles in the hot Louisville sun.

Racer K came out of the water in about an hour and a half and I’m not sure he saw us, but definitely heard our yells as he jogged by to hop his bike.  He returned a half-hearted, yet reassuring wave without turning his head.

We scurried toward the bike exit and after about 10 minutes, caught a quick glimpse of  Racer K as he road off into the sunrise.  It was before 9 am and I was already hot.

The next time we’d see him was about 30 miles into the trek.  Jim and I jumped in the car headed to a quaint little town named LaGrange and the feeling I get while watching races in these small towns returned.

The community seemed to rally, and the festivities were evident, but the undertone was
“this little Ironman thing” was a nuisance to many of the locals.  I don’t know why I get that feeling, but think it’s the looks while parking in front of someone’s house and unloading our chairs and other gear.  It’s times like this when I really think some people don’t like people.  I mean, no one said anything or flipped us off, but I just sense that closing streets for one day really upsets people that are generally upset in the first place.

Anyway, we stood along the main street and kept an eye out for Racer K.  While we waited we ran into some fellow East Nasties, including Season (who’s finished Ironman Wisconsin) and Daniel (who was recovering from a bad bike accident and is now part of the Fab 5).  While we waited on Racer K they kept mentioning someone named Robbie.  Robbie crushed the swim and he’s kicking ass on the bike.  Robbie, Robbie, Robbie.  Who was Robbie?  Well, as it turns out, he’s now my Ironman coach.

Finally Racer K screamed by us on a short downhill and was on his way out of town for the first of two 30 mile loops.  For the fans, this is the ultimate, “hurry up and wait.”

Let me tell you, watching an Ironman is no day at the beach.  We were up at 5:30 and it was now about 10:30 and I would have much rather been riding a bike a hundred and twelve miles than standing on the side of the road on hot pavement.  I must have taken 200 pictures of racers while we waited for Racer K to make his second loop.  We didn’t know it at the time, but Racer K. . . and Robbie . . . were both in trouble.

It was a festive atmosphere watching thousands of riders blow through LaGrange while the voice of Ironman shouted their names.  Crowds lined the road and the energy gave the athletes a boost of adrenaline.  But when that short stretch was over, guys like Robbie and Racer K were forced to look inside for fuel as they road through barren countryside, alone with their dreams.

Three hours passed, and there was no sign of Racer K.  I vaguely remember Jim mentioning he saw Robbie at one point, and it’s possible I may have clicked a picture of him without realizing as I rapid fired on hundreds of random cyclists.

Going into the day we were convinced that Racer K’s time in all events would be pretty comparable to Jim’s Louisville effort from the year before.  But as we watched the clock and Jim did his calculations it became evident that Racer K was falling behind.

When he finally came through, he looked a little rough and told us he’d been sick.  He couldn’t keep down food or water, and it doesn’t take an expert to realize that’s a big problem in an Ironman. I silently thought of Skyline Chili.

Robbie had similar fate.  He underestimated the heat effect and (told me later) his sodium got out of whack.  At one point Season and Daniel saw him sprawled out on the side of the bike course.  His goal, his energy, and his outlook, shot.  Somehow he managed to regroup and finish.  Robbie has done several Ironmans, and his Louisville time was disappointing, but if you ask him today, he’d tell you he’s most proud of that race.  Nothing went right and he had the will to finish.  It has also inspired him to go back this year for redemption.

Jim and I took the long slow walk back to our car and hoped for the best.  We knew Racer K was in a bad place and he still had at least 60 miles left on the bike before running a full marathon!

At that point, Jim and I were focused mainly on Racer K’s disappointment.  Surely he knew his goal was slipping out of reach.  All the time and energy he’d spent working for this day appeared for naught.  I wasn’t sure of his goal, but I’m guessing it was around 13 hours.  He would need a miraculous turn of events to secure that finish.

We drove back to the bike entrance and watched as throngs of people completed their 112 mile journey.  We must have calculated a hundred possible outcomes for Racer K.  “If he can do this and just does that, he will still have a chance for . . . ” Every 10 minutes it seemed we were conjuring new possibilities.  And for the longest time we felt so bad because his goal was falling faster and further out of view.  It was off a cliff, and as it neared 6 o’clock, we genuinely feared he may have thrown in the towel.

At that point he’d been on the bike course for over 8 hours.  The bike cut off was 6:30.  If he didn’t come in before that, his day was over.

Jim and I had been together for almost 12 hours and we began to spread out.  I sat in the shade on a wet lawn in front of a bank and Jim kept checking his Ironman Tracker just to make sure we didn’t miss Racer K.  I was starting to wonder the same thing.  Did we somehow miss his arrival?  It wouldn’t have been that hard, but the reality was, we knew he was still out there, nearing exhaustion, pounding the pavement.

Finally, within 30 minutes of the bike cut-off time, we saw him coming down the home stretch.  I was shooting video, but suddenly felt guilty about catching such a painful moment and turned off the camera as Racer K rolled by on his way to the run.  He made it and we were back in support mode.

We ran to the “run exit,” prepared to run alongside him for the first mile or so.  After about 10 minutes he emerged like Stallone in the 15th round of Rocky I.  He was a battered man and I had nothing to say.  I had never been in that position and more than anything feared saying something I would regret, so I ran silently as he and Jim shared thoughts on the run.

We rolled along at a decent pace, considering what preceded him, then Jim and I peeled off as Racer K began to ascend the massive Ohio River bridge.

It's Heating Up – Swim, Bike, Run, Ironman

Juxtaposing Ironman training with other races is tricky.  As I prepared for the New Orleans Half Marathon I was leery of doing too much because I wanted to run well, and it paid off.  But now that it’s over, most of what’s on my plate is triathlons, and preparation should fit seamlessly into the program.  And that program, is getting intense.

Yesterday, I swam for an hour, mixing in sprints and paddle work (which I now love).  Last night was a tempo run of about an hour and ten minutes.  I still have to pinch myself at times when I’m routinely knocking out an 8 mile run after work like it’s no big deal.  A year ago, I was sweating my first 5k.

The body’s ability to adjust is remarkable.  I wasn’t easy to digest a long-ish run last night, but Mark and I hammered the first of two 25 minute tempo runs pretty good. Daniel joined for the second loop and my legs got heavy, but my breathing rarely did. That’s the amazing part to me.  Just like the New Orleans Half.  I didn’t feel like I was breathing hard at all until I hit mile eleven.  Our aerobic capacities are far more than most of us can imagine.

I remember a lesson I learned from East Nasty Godfather, Mark Miller when I started running last year.  He said the minute your exercise becomes anaerobic, your risk of bonking elevates.  That’s why little things like slowing your pace before you reach a hill are important.

Out of all the things I’ve learned, that one stays close to my brain.  I’m always flirting with the edge of my breathing while I run.  If I’m breathing more than every 4th stride on running, I take note and back it down a little, especially if they are hard breaths.  That’s the edge for me and usually I’ll only push that hard if I’m toward the end of a run.  I consciously focus on taking a deep and relaxed breath to see if I can extend my stride count.  Many times I can.  Even if it’s to 4 1/2.  To me that signals I’m in my comfort zone.  Then it all comes down to what’s left in my legs.

Cycling (albeit inside on a trainer) has really boosted my leg strength.  We’ve done up to three hour sessions, followed by 30 minute runs.  I’m not sure of the mechanics between biking and running, but I feel like time on the bike also makes me a faster runner.  The more I think about it, the more I find the bike an incredibly powerful workout.

If you haven’t spent a couple hours on a trainer, without the wind in your face or a fan and you can’t believe how much you sweat.  The illusion of wallowing through the meadow on a bicycle will quickly be shattered if you lock down a spin wheel on your back tire.  I am really anxious to see how the indoor training translates to the road.

Tonight, it’s back on the trainer for a big gear/threshold session and I’m looking forward to inching closer toward being a “finisher” at Ironman Wisconsin.  It’s the little steps, the small gains, and the barely recognizable shots of confidence that make a difference in the end.  That, and training with a group of guys and a coach that continually give me a jolt when I need it most.

For me, Ironman is 90% about confidence, yet that 10% doubt lurks at all times.  The nagging pain, the bad workout, the exhaustion.  I am banking on momentum to dilute the doubt, the negativity, and I’m seeing the power in that principle more every day.  And that theory is making me more aware that I need to surround myself with positive and inspiring people in general.  Life is too short to be around people that bring you down.

Last Night I Ran

I started with an 20 warm up jog then got down to business:

30 sprint, 30 off, repeat
45 sprint, 45 off, repeat
60 sprint, 60 off, repeat
1:30 sprint, 1:30 off, repeat
60 sprint, 60 off
45 sprint, 45 off, repeat
30 on, 30 off, repeat

Several of the sprints coincided with hills.  I finished with an easy run to make 60 minutes.

It was rough, but In the end I felt great about being able to run a decent pace for the last 15 or so even though I was winded.  My legs felt strong as I glided along to complete the day which included an early morning swim.  I felt like I could have kept going for another hour or so at a jogger’s pace, which is really encouraging.

And from “Today’s Random Conversation” file, what every woman wants to know . . . what do guys talk about inside the men’s locker room?

Earlier that morning, I was sitting in the locker room after a swim and was a fly on the wall as three older black men were having a discussion.  They were all kinda overweight and I surmised part of the morning pool exercise crew.  They moved confidently at a very slow pace while I scrambled impatiently to get the heck out of there.  I am quite fond of random locker room babble and this trio did not let me down.

For the purpose of my recollection of their conversation I’ll call them James, Ray, and Carl.

James: Man, have you seen Bobby around?

Ray: Naw, man.  I ain’t seen him in a couple weeks.

James: Yeah, I heard he was sick.

Ray: He must be sick cuz he was comin every day and gettin in that pool.

James: Yeah, he must be real sick.

Ray: He was in that pool every mornin.

James: I hear you, man. Boy gotta be sick.

Carl: Better get him a Z-Pak!!

James: I know that’s right!

Ray: Hell yeah.

James: He must be real sick.

Ray: Yeah, he was serious about that pool for a month.  Every damn day.

James: Aww man, he must be sick.

Carl: Boy better get him a Z-Pak.

James: Yup.

Ray: Uh huh.

How I Will Cut 25 Minutes Off My 1/2 Marathon Time

Note: I wrote this a couple months before running the New Orleans Half Marathon and didn’t post it because I was struggling with the the fact that some of my posts were getting on my nerves.  I was also probably very confident that day and deep down a little afraid of getting in over my head.  But, since I’ve actually finished the race and did exactly what I thought I would do (even better) I feel like there may be something of value here and not just a big bag of wind.
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Originally written January 14th, 2013

I’m sure this post gives the impression that I’m a cock-ass, but the reality is, I like to push myself and think we generally underestimate our abilities.  So much of endurance racing is mental and I hope you can find one or two things in here that help you reach the next level. 

I wasn’t feeling great yesterday, but decided to take a little run after breakfast.  The plan was to start slow and maintain a comfortable pace for four or five miles.  I ended up going ten.

The whole time I was thinking about my plan for the 1/2 marathon in New Orleans.  I thought about the full, but am not sure I want to push my body that far yet, so the goal is to run my best half.  And here’s how I plan to cut 25 minutes off my first half marathon time of 2:14:33.

The reason I’m confident it will happen is because I’ve seen so much progress.  I have two months before New Orleans and yesterday’s run gave me a major boost in belief.  I started slow, kept it at a comfortable pace, and averaged an 8:57 pace for ten miles.  That pace is only 40 or so seconds away from what I’d need to run to clip 25 minutes.

So, how have I made this much progress in roughly eight months?  And how will I get from here to there with two months until the race?

Cross Training

Since I ran my first half last April I have taken a big interest in triathlons, which has added a lot more swim and bike to my routine.  Neither can be underestimated when it comes to running performance.

My first triathlon was a Sprint and I was more concerned about finishing than blasting through any of the individual phases.  I felt good coming out of the swim and took it fairly easy on the bike to make sure I could actually run the entire 5k.  As it turned out I felt better after that run than I had in any other run I’d done to that point.  There was something about the full body workout that agreed with me, and if I hadn’t been so paranoid about finishing, I think I could have easily run my best 5K after the swim and bike if I would have pushed harder.

There is no denying that biking makes you a faster runner.  I used to do a ton of mountain biking in my 30’s and felt like I was as fast on a baseball field as I’d ever been.  Biking is great for explosive and fast twitch muscles.

Swimming clearly helps your endurance, but it is also great for balancing your muscles and strengthening your core.  I haven’t been killing myself in the pool, but knocking out a couple 1,000 – 1,500 yard swims a week goes a long ways on the run.

I’ve also been doing a lot of push ups and ab work on the side during tv commercials or between editing sessions.  The key here is to do it when you feel it.  I never go to fail or push myself to the point of exhaustion.

Consistent Running and Maintenance

I really don’t run that much.  It kind of scares me.  But I do push myself to run at least twice a week and normally it’s between 3-6 miles.  Until yesterday, I hadn’t run more than 8 miles since the 1/2 marathon, but I have been running those short distances harder and I believe that helps overall endurance.

Three weeks ago I ran a 12k (7.25 miles) at what used to be my 5k pace.  It was a mental breakthrough and what made it possible was running with faster pace groups in training.  It’s like playing sports with better athletes, it can be painful, but you always improve your performance, and in the case of running, those sub 9 miles start turning into sub 8 miles with the same perceived energy exertion.

I’ve also stayed fairly consistent with the foam roller and leg strengthening exercises.  Nothing crazy, but a consistent focus on making sure my legs are warmed up and loose before and after runs.  It goes without saying that running is easier when your knees, ankles, and hips don’t hurt.

Learning to Relax into Form

Every mile I try to remember to “shake it out.”  The repetitive nature of running can cause tension in all parts of our body.  It takes a little more energy to let your arms fall and swing them around, but I always find it gives me a boost.  I also like to put them over my head and stretch as far as I can.  It’s interesting because I can literally feel the blood pulsing through my arms when I do this.

The other thing I notice in long runs is that I typically get sore/tight/lazy in the hip flexors which makes each step utterly painful at times.  This is when I know I really have to concentrate on my form.

When our hips are tired it means we’re sort of throwing the legs forward instead of running.  First, I mentally try to relax both of my legs and let go of tension.  Forcing my toes to spread out and letting go of any pain that may be creeping in.  Then I concentrate on my momentum and finding the controlled fall that forces me to think more about lifting my foot rather than pushing off.  I literally say “lift” to myself over and over as I run, while concentrating on “pulling” my foot toward my ass.  I’ve found this takes a ton of strain off the hips and forces me to glide more than lunge.

Another thing I do with regard to pain is the minute I feel something in my foot, ankle, knee, hip, stomach, etc, I force my mind to go somewhere else.  I mean, if it’s a serious pain, that’s a different story, but I have so many little nagging bouts during a run, I do my best not to focus on them and they usually fade away.

Hydration

It’s obvious to drink fluids during a race, but I am a big proponent of hydrating when you least think you need it.  It’s really about having a well oiled machine going into a race more than it is to put put an extra quart in a smoking engine.

Hydration is a year round process and with the amount of beer I put in my body, I have no choice but to take it seriously.  I have pretty good habits with water, like drinking it right away in the morning and pounding more than I think I need after a workout and I believe both go a long ways.

I also plan to add more fruit and vegetables to get the hydrating benefits of water based foods when you don’t feel like drinking water all the time.

Take Advantage of Race Energy

I feel like race day is good for 15-30 seconds per mile when compared to my training runs.  The energy of the crowd and other racers drive you to new heights.  With that in mind, my plan is to purposely start a minute and a half slower than the necessary pace to reach my goal of 1:49:33, which is 8:21 per mile.  So, I will do my absolute best to run the first mile of the half at a 9:51 pace, which will more likely translate into a 9:30 pace in the excitement of the moment.

The key for me is holding back and finding a nice rhythm.  I think it is always better to start slow and fall into your pace rather than start at it or faster.  Yesterday I really paid attention to this and noticed that around mile 7 I would catch myself pacing around 8 minute miles without really trying to hit that mark.  I instantly slowed it back to a nine minute pace, but I’d always pick up speed.  I guess my point is, it’s better to control yourself by backing down to the right pace than having to speed up to get there.
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Post Script:  My actual time for New Orleans was 1:42:03 which means I cut over 32 minutes off my only other half marathon.

Running For Something

A while back I wrote a blog about my best friend from grade school but didn’t have the nerve to publish.  His name was Tim.

We played sports together from grade school through High School.  Tim was a great athlete and an amazing overachiever.  We were roommates in college, then he went into the Army and ransacked Europe for a couple years.

He was a crazy fucker and always getting into trouble.  We parted ways after college and he moved to Milwaukee where he landed in Sales for a staffing company that supplied companies with temporary workers.  Before Tim, that company never had a Fortune 500 client on their roster.  Within a year, he signed up four.

He was a relentless salesman and wasn’t afraid of anything.  Certainly not a no.

His methods were as unconventional as they came.  He’d spent months saddling up to an HR Director for a major company in Milwaukee before finally he got his chance.  Tim invited his boss and the company president to join him at the table.  The company president took over the meeting by going into a long spiel about about how Tim’s company would do this and do that and have x-amount of people ready at all times to satisfy the needs of their client.  Tim sat silently and watched as his boss’s boss lied through his teeth for 15 minutes.

When the president ended his pitch, the HR guy, who knew Tim well after months of sales calls, looked at him and asked, “Tim, can you guys do all of that for us?”

Tim, looked him in the eye, and matter of factly said, “No way in hell.”

That was Tim.  He shot straight and saw no reason to lie.  He called me out constantly on the simplest things and wouldn’t let it rest until I came clean.

Tim was tenacious and it came at a cost.  He had a dangerously addictive personality and while living in Milwaukee, cocaine became his diversion of choice.

He was working 14 hour days and that company was blowing up.  He’d get huge orders for temp. workers, then have to literally case the streets of Milwaukee to find enough people to fill the positions.  It was grueling work and on most nights, he would go home do a few lines, then sleep.

He was in and out of counseling for years and told me once his therapist said he was so wired that cocaine was actually a downer.  He used the most prevalent party upper of our time to relax!

Fast forward 10 years when Tim was living in Savannah.  He’d been through rehab and started his journey clean.  Then slowly, he started drinking again and things ran out of control.

He lived on Tybee Island and had a few more sales stints before slowly losing his way.  We talked almost every day and while I knew he was struggling to find work, he was always optimistic.  It was quite amazing, especially when he told me he had cancer.

He’d gone to the doctor because his back was killing him for months and they found a tumor.  Then a subsequent scan showed it had spread throughout his body.

He was consistent with updates and went into fight mode like only Tim could understand.  He started juicing and eating raw foods, along with an intense vitamin regiment.  We talked multiple times a day and there was no doubt in my mind Tim would turn his life around and beat this thing.  He had actually been at a new job for about three months and decided to quit so he could stay focused and move back to Wisconsin while he recharged himself.

On his way back he scheduled a couple nights in Nashville so we could hang out and catch up.  He called me the Friday before and said he was really excited to get home and watch the Packers and Badgers with friends and family he hadn’t seen in years.  I too was excited and optimistic to see him in 7 days.

Of course a bunch of us were all in contact at that point.  All doing what we could to sort it out and see how we could help.  On that Sunday, one of those buddies, Marty, called me around 2:00 in the afternoon.  They all called me Rope.

“Hey Rope.”

“Hey Marty, what’s up?”

“Are you sitting down?”

I couldn’t believe it.  Tim died.

Marty told me they thought he died in his sleep sometime between late Saturday and early Sunday morning.  I was stunned and completely wrecked.  He was my voice of reason, my daily confidant and my therapist rolled in one.  We had spent hours talking about dreams that never happened.  A wild exchange of passion that flew through the phone lines then out into the universe like they never happened.  He was my carbon copy in so many ways.

Tim died on Halloween and it shook me pretty hard.  I immediately vowed to take action on some of our ideas.  We’d been loosely working on a screenplay about his life in sales and it’s still sitting in my computer.  I haven’t been able to touch it, but Tim’s death has given me strength I wasn’t sure if I could muster.

I silently pledged to, at the very least, live with more vigor.  It didn’t happen overnight, but it gnawed at me for a couple months.  Tim was in overweight when he died and the first thing I decided was that I would find my health.  But, I still couldn’t do it.

I trudged ahead with similar patterns but so many things reminded me of Tim.  He was always there.  I kept his last phone message and replay the infectious laugh on occasion.  I was bummed and feeling sorry for myself.  Finally, it dawned on me that Tim would have been pissed at my lack of action.

Eventually, I took the the plunge on running and succeed in my first 5k.  Every race since has been a major challenge, and Tim continues to be an inspiration.  He was always up for a party, so I know he’ll be in New Orleans where I’m sure at least once, I’ll hear him screaming from a balcony as I run by . . .

“Come on Rope, you got this!”

More Nerves

So, all of a sudden I’m sitting here a little nervous about the New Orleans half marathon.  It’s this Sunday and I know I can complete it, but have no clue whether or not I’ve trained right. 

I’ve honestly started looking at all upcoming races as training grounds for the one and only race that has my real focus: Ironman Wisconsin. We’ve been talking about a 1:45 for me at New Orleans, but if that comes with a need for a few days off, I’m not sure how I feel about it.  It’s going to take a serious effort from me and will literally cut 29 minutes off my only other 1/2. 

Oh, who am I kidding, I’ll probably shoot for 1:30 and deal with the consequences.