Category: diet

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Friday Night's Alright for Writing

I used to get fired up beyond belief when I’d hear “Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting” by Elton John.  I’ve always been a huge EJ fan, but at some point I discovered that Bernie Taupin was writing all the lyrics, and to this day, Bernie is the only person in music that I truly want to meet.  And why not when a dude is dropping this kind of ink on his tablet:

It’s getting late have you seen my mates
Ma tell me when the boys get here
It’s seven o’clock and I want to rock
Want to get a belly full of beer
My old man’s drunker than a barrel full of monkeys
And my old lady she don’t care
My sister looks cute in her braces and boots
A handful of grease in her hair


Somehow Bernie always knew what was going on in my life.*  Dad was drunk, mom didn’t care, and I did want a belly full of beer.

I grew up in Wisconsin, which is the Harvard of beer drinking states and my degree was far more potent.  Every college town in Wisconsin claims to have the most bars per capita on a certain street or 3 block radius or along a river and after a lot of research, I can honestly say they are all right.

I’m not certain it’s something to brag about, but my drinking people can stand toe to toe with anyone.  A negative split comes natural to a beer marathoner.  We start slow for a couple, level out for the next 18 or so, then kick for the final 6.2, leaving .8 sitting as a rock in the middle of all the empties.

What does all of this have to do with the Ironman?  I guess the fact that I am home on a Friday night, writing instead of testing more beer to make sure it still tastes like beer.

Nine consistent months of training has created better habits and over the last couple months my urge to drink has slowly faded.  I’m not saying I won’t drink or don’t want to, but it is getting really easy to pass up.  Even after a horrible week at work (when my car would typically steer itself to the local pub) I will come home with intention of doing something productive.

The workout is always waiting and when you’re talking about an Ironman, certain things have to take priority.  Two months ago I would have felt a little naked if I didn’t have a 12 pack on reserve.  Now there’s not even room for beer with all the rotting vegetables in my fridge.

That said, as a proud graduate of Beer Drinking U, I never say never.  Tomorrow is Saturday and I could easily be drunker than a barrel full of monkeys.  Maybe that’s why Ironman Wisconsin is the perfect choice.

*  It should be noted that these are not necessarily my favorite Taupin lyrics.  I mean, they are good, but Bernie can wrench your heart dry, then fill you with nectar of the Gods thirty seconds later.

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The Fab Five

Tonight, it was dinner with four guys who just happen to be joining me for Ironman Wisconsin.  I was like, “Holy shit, everyone’s here,” but I shouldn’t have been that surprised because we planned to meet at Calypso Cafe to draw up training plans with our coach.  And while I’m not sure if it’s going to stick, for now we’re calling ourselves the Fab Five.

The first thing Jim said to me was, “Please tell me you’re drinking beer.”  I agreed without missing a beat and listened with a mouthful of hops as he segued into a tactical attempt to commandeer my basement for the next three months.

“You can stop me anytime, but Mark and I were thinking, since you have such a great basement, it would make a lot of sense if you wanted to be the headquarters for our P90x workouts.”  I told him I’d answer after I finished my Yazoo Pale Ale.

I think the guys would agree that one of the coolest things about training for this Ironman is the group we have assembled.  There is a wide range in experience as well as age.  Jim has done two Ironman distance triathlons, Kevin has done one, and everyone has done a 1/2, including Daniel and Mark.  I have done none of the above.

We have a lot in common, we’re all East Nasty, we are all sorta white, and we all have liked beer at some point, but tonight’s key realization was that each of us will represent a different age group.  I, of course, will be the oldest and impart serious wisdom as we glide through the process.

Our diet and staying in the moment are important.  We ate beans and rice like real runners and talked about how we planned to document the road to IMWI.  Mark immediately stepped to the front and gave us carte blanche of his video studio and staff to produce a high end video, which was super cool and a major team-player move.  I, on the other hand, squashed a dream by rejecting my basement as P90x headquarters.

What I like about what we have going is that everyone is kind of a “fuck-around,” but clearly respects that mountain in front of us.  We joke about everything and anything, but when the “I-word” comes up, these cats realize process is king.  This isn’t about ripping apart some race a year from now, it’s about building our mind, body, and soul.  It’s about coming together and trusting the true energy of life to build us into stronger people.  We’d all probably laugh about that line as well, but know it’s true.  There’s magic in the pursuit of something that tests your will.

Our coach never did make it, but the good news is . . . he was being held hostage by a serious running operation at another location.  As the oldest and wisest member of the this consortium, I am banking on the fact that “coach” accumulated even more wisdom tonight and the Fab 5 will be better off when he brings it to our next dinner table on Sunday.

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Why Not You?

I’m finally reading Born to Run, which is an otherworldly story about a mysterious tribe of super- centered and super-human athletes nestled in remote caves of Mexico.  They’re called Tarahumara (the Running People) and routinely run for dozens or hundreds of miles in the course of a normal day.  It is their lifestyle.  Children run free as soon as they leave the cradle, adults run for fun, ritual, and competition, and elderly Tarahumara continue this tradition late into life.

In Chapter 6 they referenced a 90 year old man who commonly hikes 20 plus miles into the mountains.  The writer asked another tribesman how a man of his age could complete such feats of strength and endurance?  In true Tarahumara fashion the man simply said, “Because no one told him he couldn’t.”

I once heard someone say “Florida is God’s waiting room,” and while it made me laugh, I always thought it was sad.  Sure, we get old, but I’ve never liked our culture’s view of aging.  Why do we settle for a pension, rocking chair and a handed down afghan while watching re-runs of I Love Lucy? (Well, besides the fact they are hilarious!?!)

My father has never been the healthiest of men and, in many ways, has succumbed to the myth of aging, but I have always admired his passion for being a good golfer.  In fact, because I don’t see him often, that’s how I gauge his health.  He can still hit the ball as far as me and routinely scores in the 70’s as he approaches that age.  More importantly, he does it often.

Like many people I have casually thrown the phrase, “It sucks to get old,” but never wanted to accept it.  Ache has always been a part of my life and in youth you simply play through the pain.  I’d drag myself back to shortstop and embrace the next challenge.  The body always adapted and found its way back to “normal.”

In January I attempted to run as an endurance exercise for the first time in my life.  I wasn’t sure I had the patience to stick with the “slow build” Couch to 5k program, but, for once was determined to follow the rules.  There were many days I didn’t want to go, but I dragged myself to NRC and met the group.  There were other times when I felt good on an off day and wanted to test my limits, but resisted.  I stayed on course and credit that program for everything I have done since.

The more we do something, the more it brands our fiber.  It becomes natural like running is to the Tarahumara.  Whether it is writing, reading, photography, dancing, swimming, biking, running; we can do it if we create a good base and develop habits.

The Tarahumara seem super human, but for them, running is easy.  It’s kinda like lounging in a recliner to us.  Running People don’t design spread sheets or sit through webinars, but they do make sales calls (in person) and drink corn beer like it’s a treat from God.  My guess is, to them, posturing in an ergonomic chair and staring at a computer screen sounds harder than running 100 miles.  It’s what we do that makes a difference.

So, I have set my sights on the “impossible.”  A 2.4 mile swim, a 112 mile bike, followed by a full marathon.  The marathon alone (on my best day), will be 240 of those first day sixty-second-runs in succession.  The bike ride will take at least 6 hours.  The swim is the equivalent of 42 lengths of a football field.  But, like the elderly man, if I believe it, who’s to say I can’t?

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A Triathlete's Friday Night

Picked up my little girl dog from school then blasted a 5 minute nap before staring at the living room ceiling for a while.  This quick sunset is throwing a wrench in my plans, though I planned to take the night off and relax for a beast of a run tomorrow.  I’m gonna tackle almost half of the Flying Monkey marathon course.  (One of my Ironman Wisconsin buddies, Kevin is doing the Monkey). From what I understand this bad boy has a serious reputation of being a bitch of a race.  Here’s how the organizers describe the course:

We will time and measure the distance, but the course will not be certified and it will not be a Boston qualifying event. If you get to the end and you (or your gadget) believe the route to be long, we won’t charge you extra; if you believe it to be short, just keep running. There will be no bands, cheerleaders, wave starts or crowds. We promise no marathon Personal Records, but we guarantee every runner a PR – a Permanent Remembrance of a well-earned marathon finish. We promise to give you approximately 26.2 tough and memorable miles, with a total of over 3600 feet each of elevation gain and loss, or over 7200 feet of overall elevation change.

Anyway, I’m only running an 11.2 mile loop, but I used to ride my motorcycle through this park and thought runners were absolute morons for running those hills.  Funny how perspective changes.  Now I’m really looking forward to the challenge and, if it goes well, I’m gonna sign up for the Huntsville Marathon (he said while sipping on a Horney Blonde from Horny Goat).

East Nashvillians will be happy to know that I stopped by Pizza Real for a little real pizza and now I’m nestled cozily in my basement at 10:30.  So, that’s how Fridays roll these days and I kinda love it.

Today’s Diet:
Breakfast: Protein shake, coffee, cream cheese bagel
Lunch: Fried Rice with shrimp, 2 egg rolls, unsweet tea
Snack: Fiber bar (see my arch nemesis)
Pre-dinner snack: 2 dill pickles, glass of water with scoop of perfect green food
Dinner: Pepperoni/mushroom pizza (5 thin crust slices) Blue Moon, Horny Blond

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Diet Temptations

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As if the corporate world doesn’t brainwash you enough?  They are positioning this as a new “healthy lifestyle break room.”  Works for me.

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"You Are An Ironman" the Book

I’ve been reading Jacques Steinberg’s book “You Are An Ironman” for the last few weeks before I go to bed.  He follows 6 triathletes for about a year as they train for Ironman Arizona.  It took me a few nights to get into the read because it seemed a bit big-wordy and journalistic rather than conversational (yes, I’m a bit lazy and shallow), but now I am immersed in the characters and am finding tons of motivation and training fodder.

Some of my biggest questions right now are things like when and where should you do other races while training for an Ironman.  I think it’s obvious to do a 1/2 Iron when you’ve worked up to those distances in your plan, but what about the other stuff?  Like right now, I am genuinely still building myself as an endurance athlete and debating whether or not I should do the Huntsville Marathon on December 8th.

My furthest run to date was my first 1/2 marathon (2:14) back in April (after starting running in January).  Since then I have consistently popped off 2-3 runs a week ranging from 3-8 miles and feel pretty good about any of those distances.  In fact, I’m pretty sure I could do a 1/2 in under 2 hours right now.  But a marathon will surely squeeze my bones and muscles like nothing I’ve ever done and I’m wondering whether or not I should push the envelope right now.  The last thing I want to do is lose my enthusiasm, which I feel I’ve built by staying within myself.  But I guess doing a marathon is no different than saying you’re going to do an Ironman, you just have to get ready.  I think my plan is to run a hilly half distance (using the infamous Flying Monkey course) this weekend and make my decision.

The other thing I really like about “You Are An Ironman” is the training decisions these athletes are making.  One of the women has a strategy of always running after the bike.  Even if it’s a mile or two.  If you’ve ever done a “brick” (running after biking) you know how strange it can feel and there has to be something for getting used to it.  As hard as the practice sounds, I am going to do my best to add that routine.

I’m also amazed at the amount of swimming they do.  I love swimming, but the process of getting in the water is a little annoying at times.  Especially if you’re talking about open water swims and having some kind of support while you flail your way into the middle of a lake.  After doing an Olympic, I realize how far I have to go on the swim.  If nothing else, just to feel relaxed and comfortable in the water at the start.  I literally could not catch my breath for the first 10 minutes, and that is not a good feeling when you’re in a rushing river with waves crashing down your throat.

So, tonight I will run with One Hilly 5K with the East Nasties, then talk with a couple of the guys training for Wisconsin about their 1/2 Iron this weekend in Augusta.  Thursday, I’ll get back in the pool, then Saturday run half of the Flying Monkey to make up my mind about Huntsville.

Today’s Diet (so far)
Breakfast – Protein Shake, Coffee, bagel with cream cheese

Ehh… I know.  it’s gonna take time!

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Trying To Understand Swimming

You just stroke, then breathe and it never leaves a bad taste like masturbation.

Swimming is the perfect escape and reconnection.  A body made of water flowing through itself.  I have yet to find an exercise more invigorating.

Tonight I knocked out a mile in 35 minutes or so and that is not gonna cut it.  I suppose it would help if I actually knew how to swim, but I can’t seem to figure it out on my own.

Making matters worse was the woman in the next lane teaching her little girl how to swim. The woman didn’t really look like a swimmer, but she was throwing around a lot of “thumbs first” and “keep hands away from face” kinda stuff, and my end-of-lane-breaks were couched with that “acting like I wasn’t listening look” but I was definitely listening.

I’ve watched a bunch of videos and read books, newsletters, encyclopedias, Twitter posts, and DVR’d the Olympics, but I can’t quite tell which of my growing array of styles is faster.  It doesn’t help that I can’t see the second hand on the clock because I’m getting old and blind (maybe I need to cut back on the masturbation).

Anyway, if anyone has swimming advice, I’m all ears.

Today’s Diet
Breakfast:  Protein Shake, Two cups of coffee
Snack: Fiber bar
Lunch: Two pieces of fried cod, french fries, unsweet tea
Snack: Chips, green tea
Pre-swim: Orange juice, blueberry, strawberry, banana smoothie (blender)
Dinner: Kale, broccoli, carrot, apple, ginger (in juicer)
* I’m sure I’ll ad something else solid to this day.  Likely a can of tuna and a few pickles.

Summary:  This is not the most impressive diet-day, but I’m not avoiding my cravings and they are naturally fading away.  It’s pretty sweet to see the change and not have to depend on willpower.