How A Blonde Humbled Me in the Pool

Four of the five Fab Five members showed up at 7:00 to ride the spin bike for an hour before spin class.  I was the only one missing.

The training schedule called for a two hour bike followed by an easy 30 minute run, but since I’m listening to my body, I slept in a bit and got there at 8:00.  I took a little shit for that maneuver, but the guys didn’t know what a traumatic experience I had in the pool last night (yes, this is what I do on Friday nights, swim).

I’m usually a little tight on Fridays from the workweek, so I stuck with my plan of a 300 yard breast stroke to loosen up, then complete the 2,000 yard light swim.  Once again, I couldn’t find my stroke and it’s starting to piss me off.  It’s like a perpetual level of mediocrity in the pool.

Somewhere around lap 16 I started to feel loose and settled into a nice pocket.  I mean, I was ready to hammer the rest of this swim in gorgeous fashion.

I saw her out of the corner of my eye in the next lane.  She was probably mid to late 30’s and swimming right with me for a few strokes, but two strokes later she was a body length in front.  I kept repeating, stay on your stroke, keep cool.  Then two body lengths, then three, then five and soon she was lapping me.  I was crushed, but just couldn’t keep up.

I cursed my swimming and did my best to stay with her feet, but it was hopeless.  I settled back in with my body and breathing.  She stopped for a minute and I regained my composure.  Now, I knew I was swimming faster and could hang on her next approach.

As I spun off the far wall, I saw her right behind me.  I subtly kicked it up a notch to ward her advances, then saw her creeping up on my right again.  I threw form to the wolves and hammered the water like a caveman.  She was not touching the wall before me this time.  I fought the waves and battled every pain in my body.  Water flooded my mouth and I spit it in her direction like a heavyweight boxer.  I would win!

My flailing only seemed to make her chuckle.  She cruised through the water like a dolphin.  A smooth ocean creature at piece with her environment watching as the land-dweller panicked.  She flew by me like I wasn’t there and, it hurt more than normal because when she pulled away, I noticed she was doing the backstroke!  This woman just pummeled my dreams from her easy-chair.

So, as I concluded my 1,500 yards (yeah, you caught me), I did what any competitive athlete in my shoes would do.  I waited for her to stop and asked her for advice, which she happily gave and was instantly second-guessed on the first Youtube swimming video I watched later.  It’s all so confusing to me.

With my swimming nightmare in the mirror, I staggered into our group bike with weak legs and low self esteem and as luck would have it, the spin instructor was a mid to late 30’s woman who proceeded to kick my ass on the bike.  These women, I am telling you!

I stuck it out for an hour, then ran with the Fab Five minus 2 plus one (Allison) for 30 minutes in the rain.  I’m guessing we were around a 10 minute mile pace and climbed some nice hills, but I felt very strong.  Then, of course, I crushed breakfast.