I Am Not "A Runner"

There’s no question that running began my cascade into full-blown-endurance-obsession, but I can no longer sit back and let people say, “I love following your little running journey,” without some genuine repercussions.

I do like running and it is often my favorite workout, but I am not “just” a “runner.”  I have a bunch of friends who only run, and while I love them, they are a little off.

They just get up in the morning and run!  That’s what they do!  Then they’ll run some more.  It’s pretty awesome, but kinda crazy!

Then they’ll sit around after a run and talk about running in an endless conversation that goes something like this:

“Hey, How was your run?”

“Pretty good.  Foot hurt a little.”

“That sucks.  When you running again?”

“Oh, probably tomorrow.”

“Cool, me too.”

“Yeah, I’ve been running a lot.”

“I just love finding that zone.”

“Yes!”

“You just keep running and running.”

“I know!  It’s so amazing.”

“People don’t always understand it.”

“Yeah, too bad for them.”

High five.

“They just don’t know what they’re missing.”

“I never used to like running, but it’s just so free and easy.”

“Yes, I think about running all day at work.”

“Me too!”

“I was sidelined for a couple weeks with an IT band, but now it feels great, as long as I don’t push it on hills.”

“Yeah, I used to hate hills, but now I love them.”

“Me too!  It’s where I pass the most people!”

High Five.

“I just love seeing people slow down on a hill.”

“I know!”

Silence.

“So when’s your next race?”

“I’m doing “Bird Walk Reservoir Weed and Feed 6K”

“Oh, that’s a great one, cool distance!”

“I just love it, and it’s cheap!  But parking’s a bit of an issue.”

“Yeah, I always get there early and run a mile or so first.”

“And they have great ice cream!”

“Yes!”

“I feel like as much as I run I deserve a little ice cream.”

“We burn so many calories.”

“We are pretty awesome.”

Soft high five over a coffee cup.

——————–

Oh, now.  I’m just kidding.  Triathletes are just as ridiculous.  We get trapped in similarly benign conversation about water temperature and bike seats that don’t make your under parts go numb.  We ramble on about splits and transition times like it’s straight out of something people give a shit about.

Not only that, runners are nicer than triathletes.  Don’t even think about asking a favor while sitting around in Transition before a triathlon.  You might get the answer, but it will be returned with a stink eye that says, “I am going to kill you today, punk.”  Well, that’s mainly the young kids with great equipment they didn’t have to pay for, but feel violated if you ask them for a squirt of anti-fog for your swim goggles.

But, like most things, people who act like they know something, probably don’t know jack shit.  And I will happily accept being placed in that category, but please don’t call me a runner.