They write books about this shit and several people I know have claimed to have done the deed, but until yesterday, I have never seen anyone actually DO an ultra marathon. I was out there bright and early in effort to feel better about myself by volunteering. My job on this day was to be a “bike monitor.”
I was supposed to show up at race time then sort of follow, or as it probably seemed “lurk” around runners for four hours. I had no uniform or special sign distinguishing me from the other creepo bike riders, and i’m not gonna lie, it was a little awkward.
Me: “Hey there, sorry for cutting you off, how are you?”
Random Runner: “Urg! I’m fine!”
Me: “I’m volunteering, so I thought I’d ask.”
Random Runner: “Oh, I wondered what the hell you were doing. Thank you!!”
Me: “Lookin good!”
The more I contemplated my task, the more I reasoned it was a little on the useless side considering I was monitoring Ultra Marathoners for their first 12 or so miles, which seemed a little like making sure a drunk can handle his first few beers. But I kept focus and rode nearly 30 miles while peering into runner’s eyes for the slightest sign of weakness.
If there was hesitation I would cozy up close and point my water bottle toward their mouth.
“Sure you don’t want some water?!?”
“No, get the hell away from me.”
I decided the best thing I could do was make sure I knew where the last runner was and when I saw him, I had no idea who I had uncovered. He had a big arch in his back and his style was unique to say the least.
I asked if he was doing okay, and he mumbled something about a “challenging climb” and forged ahead. I rode away moderately confused and kept peeking over my shoulder to see if he was still standing.
When I got back to the start line (which all runners passed on their way to the other the back end of the race) I told organizers “There are 7 runners left on the course, including a guy that . . .” And was interrupted with, “Oh, that’s Eugene, he’ll be fine.”
Eugene is 76 and was using an intriguing run/walk method where he’d run for two steps and walk for three or something like that. I couldn’t quite figure out the strategy, but evidently it works because he has completed over 400 marathon or longer runs in his life!
If we put that into perspective and assume he didn’t start running marathons until he was 26, that’s eight marathons a year for 50 straight years! Not only that, several of them were ultra marathons. I noticed he was wearing a 50 States Finisher shirt and someone told me that he’s done that four times! How’s that make you feel about your life experience?
If that wasn’t enough, I got to meet the 50K winner, who humbly knocked it out in three hours and twenty minutes (unofficial). That’s about a 6:26 per mile pace and I’m telling you there were some bastard hills on this route. My thighs were killing me and I was on a bike.
Ten months ago I could barely run to the mail box, and now, after watching an Ultra Marathon, I can see myself doing one at some point. It won’t happen until after the Ironman, but it certainly seems possible. Amazing what we can do if we put our mind to something. If you don’t believe me, just ask Eugene.
Question of the Day: I need to ask you all a question though. There were several, I mean upwards of 25% of the people in this race that were walking often before mile 10. I guess I don’t really understand why you would do an ultra when there are plenty of shorter races out there that you can run?
Ultra Marathon Day Diet: Sun chips, mini-snickers (from aid station). Grilled Cheese and potato tots from the Grilled Cheeserie Truck. Budweiser Tall Boy. Fat Bottom Burger, 2 Pale Ales, Multiple Guinness, and a Schlitz in a bottle at Family Wash. This must have been a cheat day.
Side note: I Googled “Running Calculator” but typed in “Runny” by mistake and it led me to a calculator that tells you how you may have gotten your runny nose.