The Power of Isolation

Occasionally I try to figure out why I’m putting so many hours into training, most in isolation.  Even the group rides are replete with time for contemplation.  I think the simple answer is . . . I like it that way. 

My dad was a very social guy when I was growing up.  We lived in a small town and he seemed to know everyone.  There was always a party in progress or about to happen when my dad showed up. 

I loved it when he would take me along to the cookout.  The kids would run around or play baseball in the back, while the parents got drunk in the kitchen.  Everyone was relaxed and free. 

But the sun always sets on a party and it’s tough to see in the dark. 

I’d go down to my bedroom in the basement and stare at a ceiling that wasn’t there.  I’ve always had trouble falling asleep and think it’s largely because I can’t get out of my head.  Eventually I figured out there’s no better place to fuel this addiction than long hours in the pool, on a bike, or a run. 

When I’m at my best, I embrace the art of meditation in motion.  I am completely in the moment.  Focused on the next stroke, pedal, or step.  I’m at one with my breath and let that take over.  There is no watch, no conversation, and no finish line.  I just am.

I have always been a fascinated by the power of meditation.  The ability to look inward for peace is extremely powerful and the key to staying centered.  But, it’s difficult to stay on course with an endless flow of distraction.

Phones fill voids like a crack pipe.  We cling and hope the next message delivers the perfect high.  If we’re not looking at the phone it’s the television or the tablet.  We’re always “looking” . . . but for what? 

I think that’s the irony of endurance training. 

We go to extreme lengths to find something we can’t describe.  A consistent, manageable, and peaceful state.  But what we do when we find it is the real challenge.  Do we accept it or climb higher for another level of stimulation?  How high is high enough? 

On the most elemental level, I think humans are searching for ways to feel better, but how we do that is baffling. 

What part of staying inside an office for 10 hours a day while staring at numbers on a computer screen resembles natural behavior?  It’s a real challenge because we have crafted a world that is driven by “more is better.”  More money, more power, more fame, more sex, more highs, more stuff. 

So this all comes back to basics.  What do we need to be satisfied?  For me, it’s typically nothing. 

The most serene moments of my life are those times when I’m focused on my breath.  I don’t “need” anything when I’m “awake.”  Life gets more complicated when I am forced to squeeze into a box created by humans who think they’re doing what’s best for me, for us.  We get dragged around the block when all we really want is to chill in the backyard.

I love to immerse myself in other people’s quest for genuine satisfaction.  What does it take to be content?  Where do we go off the rails? 

I spend a lot of time listening and observing.  I think it’s because I truly have no clue what life is all about.  Then, sometimes, I genuinely think THAT is what it’s all about.  Listening, learning, loving.

So many of us are tripped up by the lure of the next high.  The first thought after I make a million dollars is, how can I make two million?  And the list goes on.  It’s never enough.  But all we really want is to be comfortable, content, and free.  More often than not, I find that space on long swims, bikes, and runs.  The challenge is handling the rest of the day.