[follow_me]
I look at Facebook and see people jetting around the world, dressing up for birthdays, and taking pictures of magnificent scenery, all while I sit here and write about triathlon training. It creates many emotions, including envy and sadness.
Someone told me it’s a real thing: Facebook Depression.
Everyone else is having so much fun, then we look up from our phone and realize we’re standing alone on a barren plot of nature. No striking architecture or smiling babies, just you and the earth.
But if you look closer, you start to see the real beauty. It is often the simplest things.
There’s no glamor in self improvement, unless you’re Deepak Chopra, Oprah, or my 5k rival, Dr. Oz. The way out, is in, and you rarely find sparkly clothes or colorful drinks. Evolving is hard work.
I’ve been reading “The Art of Learning” by Joshua Waitzkin and he tells a story about the hermit crab. He says, at some point she must shed her armor and risk vulnerability while searching for protection of a larger shell. This quest for a new home is a growth and learning period, but the exposure makes her vulnerable to predators.
I feel like many times I have been in that position and opted to starve myself to stay in the same shell. I’ve avoided risk and growth for the safety of what’s comfortable.
This is why I tend to gravitate toward people who flirt with limits. Those who take risks, that push themselves to evolve.
A lot of people question why I’m always searching for something. I have a good job, I’m healthy, I have good friends, etc. Why can’t you just be happy with that?
Because the reason I have these things is because of who I am. You may think you know me, but you don’t know the person I am trying to become. And I think that push, that hunger, that passion is the very thing that makes this person, me.
When I discovered triathlon I found a tangible way to measure growth. In many ways it made me vulnerable and forced me out of my shell. My old home shattered and I either had to re-build or move on. I’ve done this many times in my life, but not enough.
It’s the hard stuff. The stuff you do when no one is looking.
But I’m not immune from putting doubt into your life by posting fancy pictures of stuff that make my life seem amazing. Sometimes I even consciously question myself as I do it:
“This picture is not a true reflection of what I’m experiencing. Instead of being in this moment, I’m thinking about how being at this concert, race, or in this awesome city can project my happiness to others, even though I’m probably kinda bored.”
What I’m really seeking is happiness from the reaction to my post.
I am on a journey to better understanding my mind and body through writing and training. I stagger, I stumble, I get back up.
Perception is everything, but sometimes I hate perception.
I push because it’s who I am. I don’t want to hide behind manufactured “perfection.” Acceptance of flaws is a beautiful and evolved state of being.
It lets me seek deeper answers. It forces me to learn. It inspires me to grow.
And if I know one thing for sure, it’s this: If we’re not growing we’re dying.
